May 18, 2010

I'm sad tonight, because Sweet Pea is really sad today. :-(
She doesn't understand it.. She asked me "why is everything making me sad"

Today started off wonderful.. no clothing issues at all.. nothing is hurting her and she was her happy, cheerful, normal self..
When she came home.. I saw the change in her.. she was snapping at people when they asked her questions, when they were doing things she wasn't 110% happy with them doing.. and even when they were doing thing she wanted them to do.. she would just sort of bit there heads off... And though I have seen this from her alot over the past few months.. It's not who she is.. it is not what she does when she is herself..
I understand why she was acting that way.. but I still felt the need to call her on it and correct her.. not yelling(to much I think a time or two I raise my voice a little more to get her and Little Man's attention) But every little thing set Sweet Pea off.. either by biting those around her head off for little things they were doing, or by having Sweet Pea in tears over the tiniest of things.
The last time I had to get my tone a little sharper was while Sweet Pea and Little Man was watching a movie laying on the couch together(Little Man himself has been out of sorts all day.. after dealing with Sweet Pea and PANDAS I 1st thought maybe he has it also.. but I can't be thinking that way with every little thing.. I have to remember that Little Man had 5 vaccinations yesterday at his 5 year check up and all of my kids were cranky after that)
Anyways they were laying on the couch together and Little Man didn't want his blanket and he tossed it to Sweet Pea.. she started to scream at him that she didn't want it, and she threw it back at him.. Little Man got mad and started yelling at Sweet Pea and threw it back at her.. When I took little harsher voice and told them both to knock it off.. That sent Sweet Pea off crying.. Not a totally gone no reasoning with her fit sort of cry, just an extremely sad crying.. She took off to my bedroom, opened up DH's dressers doors and sort of hid behind them crying.. When I went to talk to her she didn't want to talk..
So I grabbed her up into my arms hugged her really close and said to her "honey I don't know what is bugging you, if you don't share your feelings with me I can't help you do anything about it, you have to tell me what is wrong"
She snapped "you keep yelling at me" Even though I never yelled.. I just spoke a little more strongly then normal talk.
So I said "Sweet Pea, you were being rude and mean, and though I love you, you can't treat other people that way" She said " but he put the blanket one me" I told her all she had to do if she didn't want it wasn't to yell at him but to just say no thanks and put the blanket on the ground.. and that would have ended the whole thing..
She started to cry again and she wrapped her arms around my neck hugging me and just cried and cried and cried.. and she said "everyone keeps bugging me" So I took that to mean everything is bugging her so I asked her "has everything been bugging you today?" She said "yes and I don't know why, Why is everything making me sad today" and she continued to cry.. I said to her " baby, I'm not 100% sure why things are making you sad and bugging you.. but I think it is because you might be getting sick again, but sweetie hopefully the medicine Dr T has you on will keep you from getting too sick" She stopped crying and went back out to finish watching the movie.. but when it was over she was afraid to go to sleep without me so I laid on the couch with her and she laid on top of me with her head on my shoulder and she fell right to sleep.. When I carried her to bed, she woke up and complained about her ear hurting her.. This was the 2nd time tonight she mentioned that.. if she say it one more time I think I should take her in and have it looked at.. But goodness I don't know what they will do if it is an ear infection seeing how she is already taking an antibiotic twice a day..

This has me thinking about something Dr T mentioned to me when he 1st told me about PANDAS.. when talking to me about how many times she tested positive for strep over the last 15 months.. He said she also had a few ear infections which could have been strep but as soon as they saw the are infected they didn't look any farther for strep.
I guess I'll just see what she is like tomorrow.. This is all new and so confusing.. this not knowing what I should do..

I copied this part from Pandasnetwork.com
•Choreiform movements; involuntary or irregular writhing movements of the legs, arm or face
•Presence of tics and/or hyperactivity
•Irritability, temper tantrums, or mood lability
•Nighttime difficulties
•Severe nightmares and new bedtime rituals or fears
•Separation Anxiety
•Age regression: going back to younger developmental stage
•New handwriting problems, loss of math skills, sensory sensitivities

These are some of the ways Pandas symptoms can present themselves after being exposed to strep.. Which she was since our 10 year old has it.. and normally hers shows up in the form of sensory sensitivities and things hurting her skin..
Not today thank you Lord and I pray it doesn't..
Today she had the Irritability, temp and mood along with Nighttime difficulties with maybe a little Separation Anxiety(the not wanting to sleep unless I was right there with her)

I should also point out that while she kept having issues with these symptoms though out the day.. her whole day wasn't bad She got a 100% on her spelling test, got all her make up work from missing school yesterday done before the 1st bell rang this morning ... both of these things had her extremely excited when she 1st got home from school.. she was jumping around all happy about them.. She was also very happy and excited about the art show that was at her school this evening.. and she had no issues while at the art show either..
The majority of these issues though I could see them increasing a little more each time after she got home from school.. mostly happened after or around 8pm this evening..